What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
