God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i love accidental penises.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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