Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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