Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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