i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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