Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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