We won't sleep together?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize