i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
