Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
