i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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