how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
