I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
