the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i love accidental penises.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
