OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize