why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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