At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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