And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
