Please, let me fuck your mom
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Found the puke drawer
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So. Much. Porn.
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