Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
