So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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