babies were throwing up all over the place
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
