this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
