I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
