just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All I want is dick and wine.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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