So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
