JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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