Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
