just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize