I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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