apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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