Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.