Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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