This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
