Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
