Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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