no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
