Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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