I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
