i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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