She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my shit smells like andre
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
