11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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