Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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