ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
