I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
