I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
