All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
