I just threw up on my dentist
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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