i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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