it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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