This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
