Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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