if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
