he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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