I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
