Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
