so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
