Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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