I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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